Hera – December 2016

Dominique Trims Her Sails

 “I try to write parts for women that are as complicated and interesting as women actually are.”  — Nora Ephron

When Dominique’s husband Calvin left her for an easygoing bohemian artist named Willow, she wasn’t a good sport about it. Dominique played hardball and got the house, Mercedes, and enough money to continue her lifestyle — bait to attract another successful husband. This time she’d bag a guy who would appreciate her formidable skills as a professional wife.

The only sticking point was the yacht club. It held more power, and rivaled the Episcopalian church in terms of exclusivity in this shoreline New England enclave. Calvin, whose grandfather had established the club, was currently the commodore. Worse, Calvin showed no guilt in bringing Willow to club festivities. Since Dominique was in charge of the Memorial Day kickoff party, she dreaded the evening.

Never underestimate the extent to which a woman with Hera characteristics will go for revenge. While helping a server arrange the food on the buffet table, Dominique learned that the server had lined up a job in North Carolina but was worried about travel expenses. So Dominique whispered that she would give the woman $100 if she would “accidentally” spill a glass of red wine on Willow.

The scheme worked beautifully – but with unintended consequences.

Willow laughed off the stains on her paisley dress, which endeared her to the members at her table.

Crisis. At that moment, Dominique realized that since she was now Calvin’s ex-wife, her membership was in jeopardy. And she knew many of the club insiders resented her take-charge ways. They felt relaxed around Calvin and Willow. How could she continue to keep her position among those whose esteem she prized?

Did Dominique understand she had choices? What would you do?

  • Turn off your animosity and graciously welcome Willow into the fold?
  • Keep ranting? Bad idea. Others will soon tire of you bad-mouthing your Ex.
  • Get real. Deal with Calvin more directly – let him know how difficult this transition is for you?
  • Let go of the past. Dig deep into your skill set. Find another purpose to enhance your life, rather than count on a boyfriend or another husband to do it for you.

Goddess Tip: Take ownership of your control freak-mindset. Try hands off, instead of hands on. Let your husband, children, friend, or colleague come up with another way of tackling a project. Collaboration opens the door to harmonious solutions.

 

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