Persephone January 2017

There’s Something Very Controlling About Her

The Persephone woman can be a sweet, gentle New Age type – more passive than active, rarely asserts or takes a stand. She’s the one who wears long flowy skirts, lots of bangles and long earrings to the PTA meetings – dresses like a ‘girl, or sometimes a gipsy.

She gives off a hint to let people believe she’s somehow different – has esoteric skills. Perhaps she does! Her voice hasn’t quite matured, or she may ‘almost’ speak, in a whisper that’s very imitating and controlling.

As a psychotherapist, I’ve come across many women with strong Persephones in them, usually in their teens. I don’t judge her behaviors but listen carefully to discern some interest in developing beyond her dark reality. Usually it’s not there. She’s on a steep learning curve. I’ve spent time hanging out in her Underworld myself.

Some would call her an airhead, this terminally cool adolescent/woman and youngest of our goddesses. The Greeks had a phrase for her – Puella Eterna – Eternal Girl. Foolish and headstrong, she generally end’s up the victim. Hopefully today her parents have a lot of patience and will grow her skills. Persephone is caught in a curious cycle because she needs a dash of healthy narcissism in order to greet the world as a young adult, so of course there will be mistakes made.

Persephone Will Do Exactly As She Chooses To BECAUSE SHE CAN.

Excitement – ah that adrenaline rush. Disaster doesn’t appear on her radar – seems to circumvent her control switch. Her learning curve is steep. What will it take to learn to make life-affirming choices?

Not wanting to live the boring life of her parents, this hottie fell for a guy dangling bling her way and ended up in the sex trade – addicted to the rush and promise of her new-found life – until she walked in on her roommate. Dead. She called her parents to kidnap her back. Of course they did.

This experience on the dark side was a wake-up call to move onto another track. She thought she had been both too smart and exceptionally beautiful to have to follow the same rules as everyone else her age – school, work, exercise, fun. Eventually fear led her to make more considered choices.

In her myth, Persephone was separated from her mother Demeter, her feminine ground. You can learn about separation and loss, assessing strengths and limitations from her experience. Reality check is serious business. You begin to listen to your intuition to anticipate when you are vulnerable to being blindsided.

Once you’re able to set limits and boundaries, your voice becomes deeper, you stand taller. People begin to take you seriously. You no longer look like you’re waiting to be swept away.

The adult Persephone has learned to commit to her husband, has let her children know she’s in charge, and has found meaningful work. Having given up naivete for responsibility, you become a grounded woman. Even though there’s still a child in you who wants to play, the adult calls the shots. Disasters still occur, but without the drama. Let’s just call them a bad hair day.

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