APHRODITE – Think Before You Make Your Move – February 2017

“Now, predictably, as they moved toward assignation and structure, Stella began to create a sort of arabesque in her mind, a pattern of thought and feeling whose function it was to lead her back to him.”

— From ASYLUM, a novel by Patrick McGrath about a terrifying sexual obsession.

Aphrodite calls the Divine down to earth with her sensual essence. Just because she’s married doesn’t mean she’s not imbued with desire. She has a tremendous yearning for things other than sex – laughter, music, dance, exotic foods, languishing afternoons in the hot tub, anything to amuse her senses.

Now in her 30’s with her children in school, Dani decides to take some classes in psychology at the local college– beginning with child development.

Stuart was one of her professors – an even smile, soft, deep voice, easy way with his body language, and younger than she. His wandering eye settled on Dani once too often, so she decided to ask him for extra help.

He suggested it would be easy to go to his place. She felt like she was having a one-on-one date with The Bachelor – city lights spread in all directions from his comfortable apartment high above the city. Have a drink and talk about child development issues? Really?

Meeting like this began to feel like an assignation – she was stimulated before she left home for class by thinking she had to calculate when her husband would be expecting dinner. Then pivot to organize the kid’s bedtime. And remember to call a friend who agreed to cover for her. Exhausting details, but not for this Aphrodite.

Able to sexualize any occasion, she made a move on him. He was a gentleman, showed appreciation, and let her down gently. She didn’t know he was looking for a wife, but not someone else’s. It whomped Dani. She couldn’t remember this ever happening before – her offer of an entertaining evening rebuffed? Her stomach knotted and she couldn’t catch her breath. It felt awful.


  • Growing up did you have access to the loving gaze of your dad without your mother becoming jealous?
  • Were you free to laugh and flirt with your father, or another man who could enjoy and honor your budding femininity without running over it?
  • Perhaps a sense of ‘otherness’ inherent in male virility was exciting to you, and you laughed as you defined who you were by holding your own against it. Were you excited by this game?

Dani figured out that she needed to scroll back her behavior. She had really miscalculated some cues. She decided to step back and reassess exactly what was missing in her life. Questions she began to consider were:

What do I really want in a relationship? Do I enjoy chasing, or being pursued? What are my values? Do I take myself seriously and demand that others do too? What kind of life do I want beyond my boudoir to be able to express a more authentic me? How else can I spend my ‘passion’ without hurting those I love?

Not every man she pined for was up to the role of lover. And she had a good one at home. She woke up one morning sobbing from a dream in which her palm was open, and resting in it was her husband’s happiness. Was she going to squash that happiness – or not?

The 7 Goddesses New Years Resolutions


I will give up the desire to be swept away.


I will stop hovering over the kids.


No! Don’t ask me to change my sexy ways!


I’ll stop holding such a tight leash on my husband.


I won’t ‘talk shop’ when out with my mother.


I will listen more to others’ differing opinions.


I will go on Facebook once a day for 20 minutes.

Aphrodite – December 2016

Nobody’s Fool

“Aphrodite had the beauty; Zeus had the thunderbolts. Everyone loved Aphrodite, but everyone listened to Zeus.” — Esther M. Friesner

Let me tell you about Simone. She was an Aphrodite, a delicious Aphrodite – vibrant, sensuous, smelling like sunshine, and bestowing her charms on anyone drawn into her magnetic field.

Simone worked in sales at a prominent art gallery in Palm Beach. It was just the right job for someone as delightful as Simone to meet interesting wealthy men. And while Simone had many romances with blue chip boyfriends, none culminated in a trip to the altar. Her 30th birthday loomed like a menacing cloud.

But now Phineas, a handsome New York lawyer with political ambitions, was in the picture and she was sure he would propose. Six months earlier he insisted Simone move out of her apartment and into his condo. He vowed he’d love her forever.

Well, Simone came home one day to dress for an opening in the gallery. She was in the bedroom when Phineas entered the living room with his financial advisor Malcolm. Simone leaned behind the slightly ajar bedroom door thinking she would learn more about his finances. To her horror, Phineas explained to Malcolm that he was planning to run for office and he was about to propose to a woman named Emma in New York. He added, “I want to sell the condo right away.”

Just like that, Simone learned that not only Phineas had betrayed her, but she was also loosing a place to live. Despite the impulse to cause a scene, she kept silent.

At the gallery opening Simone couldn’t hold back her tears. Dorothy, the business director quickly shuffled her to a room away from the crowd and listened to the tale of woe.

Handing Simone a Kleenex, Dorothy said: “You have leverage. Phineas comes from old money and he’s running for office. Decide what you want and make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

That evening, after a bracing Scotch and water, Simone announced in a steady voice: “You used me and now you plan to toss me aside and get on with your career with a woman you hid from me. I emotionally invested in you, losing 10 months of my life when I could have put my energy into a solid, mature, man. You are a cad – with a well-known name. I’m selling my story to the tabloids.”

Stunned, Phineas asked, “What do you want?”

“One hundred fifty thousand dollars. With it, I’ll start my own gallery.”

“I’ll give you a hundred thousand if you sign a non-disclosure agreement.”

“It’s a deal. As long as I can also live rent free in this condo for one year.”

Oh, if only more Aphrodites were as smart as Simone. In one traumatic day she realized she had to take herself seriously, decide what she wanted and make a plan to get it. But many Aphrodite women let themselves get so snowed by love’s awesome promises and their own animal magnetism that they become victims of their own fantasies.

Are you an Aphrodite?

  • How do you regard your body, its sexuality?
  • Do you rely more on your looks than your brains?
  • Do often feel entitled to a free pass due to your beauty/charm?
  • Can you laugh about getting older — or does it frighten you too much?
  • Do you spend lots of money on clothes and makeup instead of, say, a career-building course?

Once you develop your own treasure trove of skills, you will no longer project them on to the man in your life. You are free to claim them for yourself and use them with confidence in managing your world. Then you’ll be an irresistible charmer who is nobody’s fool.

Welcome to My Blog!

Falling Awake in an Upside Down World

Women love to reinvent themselves every few years. You have a burning desire to step up and be the heroine of your own life – to consider possibilities, to be your own authority, free to make choices.

“In each of us is another whom we do not know.” Carl Jung

Your question probably becomes something like ‘how can I set sail through the narrows of transition and move on to the next phase of my journey?’ Then, ‘But what if……?’

Creative forces pop up to mobilize your energies when needed to usher in another life phase. Lying deep within your psyche is this divine sorority of goddesses – Persephone, Demeter, Aphrodite, Hera, Athena, Artemis and Hestia – inner templates ready to explore life on the conscious level. Their wisdom is as relevant now as it was in ancient times.

Faced with a challenge? Become unstuck through the innovative tools I’ve developed as a psychotherapist. Each goddess will empower you through her unique insights, strengths and limitations:

  • Shuck self-destructive patterns
  • Face challenges without panicking
  • Make bold life-changing decisions in the midst of crisis
  • Pass through chaos into another aspect of personal power
  • Go for Wholeness -no need to be perfect.
  • Fall awake in an upside down world into a deeply satisfying life.


A Lightning Rod for Disaster. She finds her strength within the victim’s story and moves out of the Underworld. Because her direction has been unsure, it may not be till mid-life for this vulnerable goddess to wake up from her bad dream. Then she accepts responsibility for herself and nails a solid purpose in which to ground her skills.


The Nurturer who becomes pregnant with her own possibilities. Once she hits burnout, she finds her leverage and steps down from sacrificing all her energies to other peoples passions.


The Lusty Lover Girl – too sexy to sleep alone. She creates a magnetic attraction in order to worship a man’s raw, phallic energy. Fickle in love, her dazzling power to seduce can cause great pain, when all she wants to do is open all our senses by bringing the Divine down into this earthly realm.


The Homefront Heroine swims in the tidal currents of marriage. Seeking to be completed by her powerful husband she becomes too dependent on him. Grasping too tight a leash on the marriage sets up her betrayal. Eventually, she finds authenticity.


Career Woman and change agent in the market place. She knows how to set goals, strategize and negotiate to make progress. Once she’s betrayed by The Boys Club, she digs deep to find her feminine ground. Then she becomes a more effective, compassionate and flexible leader.


Wonder Woman. She’s our kick-ass sister. Resilient, prickly, adventurous, independent and sexually fluid, she wastes no time with emotional pirates. Learns to cool her jets and make apologies when she judges too harshly. After all, others have their own truths.


The Intuitive Visionary who keeps the Sacred Flame burning for everyone in the community. She sets the pace for global spiritual evolution. People seek her wisdom because she knows how to stay grounded in the midst of chaos and disorder.

My journey through life has been chockablock with challenges: Raised by glamorous misbegotten parents; Hop-scotching from one notable prep school to another; Playing with danger race car driving, and staying sane through a 22-year marriage to a charming sociopath. But I survived and flourished.

How? At each juncture, a goddess came to my rescue. I thank: Artemis for strength; Aphrodite for sex appeal; Persephone for balance; Demeter for knowing how to mother; Hera for holding tight to some traditional values; Athena for the guts and business savvy to succeed in my profession, and Hestia for teaching me how to stay centered while living my vision.

Read my forthcoming blogs on these stimulating Goddesses. As a psychotherapist, I’ve developed some tools to move deeper into life’s journey. I want to hear how you resonate with my ideas. My book, A Mythic Sisterhood will be on the market soon. Until then, comments, please. Questions? Thunderbolts? You’re probably looking at your own life and asking: “What risks do I have to take to find out what else is possible?”